I know its been a little bit. I got pretty sad about my dad's deathaversary and just sort of fell silent. Sorry about that, I guess. Let me try and pick up where I left off.
Okay, so the weekend after my last post, I went shopping like I said I would do. Got some jeans, and even a dress for the weddings I have coming up. I also got some workout clothes because it was marshalls and everything was cheap as hell. Also, I presently have to do laundry 2x a week to keep up with workout clothes. with a few extra bottoms, I can be more lazy. I feel fabulous in everything so I'm glad I did it. wearing clothes in a proper size really help me see the weight I've lost.
Later that day I joined Sabrina downtown to do some sxsw stuff. specifically flatstock, which is where artists sell their prints. I got some art and had fun looking at the art. I also got a neat shirt and a pin of a cat smoking a cig and drinking a beer which was quite brilliant.
Z was working at the brewery that night, because they were having a big ole event with bands and stuff. I joined him up there but I didn't really enjoy it as much as I would have liked. It went, like, several hours later than advertised and I was tired from all the shopping/walking. Oh well. It was nice to see Z. I had missed him all day.
Sunday Z and I went out to Live Oak's new brewery since we hadn't been out there yet. Man oh man, I love their beers. It was a lovely day too. We got a little cactus terrarium they were selling made out of their beer cans. I got a shirt from them too. Actually, as a result, I FINALLY cleaned out my closet. I had a lot of really (really) *REEEEALLY* ratty ole punk shirts that I realistically couldnt wear anymore. I had tried sewing them, making 'em decent, etc but it just wasn't working. So I turned 'em into patches finally.
Z's been pretty miserable at work lately. He does tech support too, but for a different company. Theyre basically transitioning into just being a call center, which he isn't excited about since its starting to feel a lot like HG. He kinda hates support and wants to transition into maybe working full time at the brewery. Or maybe something else. Who knows. I feel bad for him. I'm glad I still like my job.
Uh, all last week i was just mopey. I can't say I did anything or got anything done. At least not much. Oh, you know, maybe I sewed up some shirts? I've still got 2 or 3 left to sew I think. Phil came into town. We got some beers, but that was about it. It was nice to chat. We're going up there this weekend to see him and Amanda and go to Wrestlemania which I'm admittedly pretty stoked about still.
Thursday came and thursday went. It was a harder ride this year than last for some reason. Likely because i'm dreading next year where I will have spent more of my life without my dad than with. I am just dread dread dread dreading it. I was p drunk the night before and tried to FB message one of his old friends (who i guess ignored me or something. whatever) and listened to my dads favorite band. really, the king's x kick extended into thursday and has been kinda ongoing. but yeah. it sucks. i hate that the human mind is so fragile. ive lost so many memories. i wish when he died i wrote them all in my lj so i wouldn't have lost them. i coddle what few i have. i cant remember his voice except if I hear recordings (which i lost ALL OF THOSE THIS YEAR. which sucks.) I barely remember his face except the smile that is etched into pictures. its unfair. memories don't last. our brains dont hold memories like hard drives. It sucked. It sucks. It will continue to suck. Time marches on.
So, I guess that puts us at the weekend that just passed. Marco called me randomly on Friday so he came up from san antonio. We went to 4th tap where I met up with Z who got off at the brewery and was hanging out with some of his friends. It was a nice night. Marco slept over and Z didn't sleep well I guess. Marco woke up and went to drive lyft all day (the main reason for coming into Austin. I guess San Antonio isn't as good as Austin is for making money via lyft). I let Z sleep and I went out and finally got a fitting bra that looks cute (so, like, when i wear tank tops and my bra pokes out at least it looks cute). So I'm now a 28HH/30H which was hard to even FIND something cute, yet alone in my size.
I also got my first 2 piece swimsuit. well, i guess ive had tankinis before, but I mean, I got a proper bikini. Back as a christian I thought it was important to be modest and all that stupid shit. i felt personally responsible for preventing boys/men from lusting after me. which i know now is a load of bollocks, but i was dumb back then and society was a bit different. After deprogramming myself from all that, I still felt too fat and full of stretch marks to wear a proper bikini. But, these days I see so many awesome people rocking whatever they want. I figured I would too. so here goes:
I actually weighed into wii fit today and it finally for the first time ever said I wasn't overweight. I hit a normal BMI. I'm waiting to celebrate at 135 on the nose (i keep hovering at 135.5 uuugh). but I'm still happy :) The end goal is just a little teeny bit further off (120~125. something like that.) it feels good to have the end in sight.
and since I started taking these vitamins I think I may have a bit more energy too. I've been doing evening workouts again (not much, but just to keep in the habit). That's helped too.
Oh, I started rambling. That Saturday night Z and I just went to black star for some food, and got shit done around the house. I had neglected everything when I was sad so it was nice to get things a bit in order. I didn't really see Marco that night. I guess he got in super late so I just left the door open for him.
Sunday we went on a pretty hardcore hike. Marco joined us willingly, and I even tried to cut the hike short, but he insisted (despite getting pretty grumpy towards the end). It was only ~6 miles, but it was pretty up and down. It would have been good training for guadalupe peak! my calves are actually still a little sore.
Marco went home and Z and I went over to neff and marissa's. I dont think we'd seen them in a few months. It was nice to see Adrielle (their kid) awake. We played with her a bit and had fun. Had a LOT of barbeque that neff made. Mostly wild hog and venison. I got to meet Marissa's parents because they were in town. It was a nice time. We didn't get to eat till late and I ate too much, but the hike at least helped even the day out. heh.
Oh and Z and I bought those confetti easter eggs and we smashed em at our place. AND at neff and marissa's. haha. i still haven't cleaned up our place, actually. i keep finding confetti in weird places. but it was fun. it was nice to reclaim that fun from the past. last time i'd played with them was with chris which ended poorly.
Well, that catches me up. I'll be a little more vocal now that the proverbial grey skies have passed. Later.